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“Is he online yet?” “Oh! She just signed on” “S’up cutie!” “BRB, phone” “Hey sexy, missed you!”

Instant messaging can be better than a fine box of chocolates. It makes you feel good. Talking to someone on IM (Instant Messaging) gives you a rush and makes you forget that you have a stack of papers on your desk or a pile of laundry waiting or that you stink and need a shower!

There are lots of ways you can meet people through IMing. Chat rooms used to be pretty popular, and they still are in some circles. But more and more people are looking for the one on one conversation through instant messaging. You can set up your profile to reflect certain interests and others with similar will often IM you with a simple “hi” to see if you take the bait and start talking. Obviously posting your photo will get more people talking to you. There’s the whole internet safety issue to be considered, which we won’t cover here other than to just say, be careful what personal information you give out.

But here’s the deal about IMing. People can be whoever they want to be behind the shield of a computer. They can sound like Mr. (or Mrs.) wonderful. You may be lonely, with or without a spouse at home, and this new IM buddy can tell you want you want to hear. They’ll be funny; they’ll be witty; and tell you how easy on the eyes you are. They’ll ask you about your day and want to listen to what you want to hear. Maybe you even want to venture out onto your wild side and exchange a little smut talk. What’s the harm, right?

Well the harm is that before you know it you’re having phone sex. Your mind is consumed with this person on the computer. You may be fantasizing about this person when you’re supposed to be working or spending time with your family. Before you know it you’ll be meeting for real time sex, only to be let down or humiliated or both. Once you meet this person, then what? You’ve had sex. It was horrible and humiliating, or perhaps it was great and fantastic. But you’re thinking about this person constantly; almost to an obsession. If you have cable or DSL access, great. You can check all day everyday to see if this person is online. If you have dial-up, you’re dialing in way more than you really have time to.

You may not even realize it, but the talk at home to your spouse is getting nastier by the day. You may even think you hate your spouse. You’ll start to hate everything he/she does. All you want to do is live for your new found love, your new found life. It can be better than the Calgon commercial …. “Take me away.” Your kids are misbehaving, the house is falling apart (in part because you’re spending so much time on the computer now) but who cares. You’re being pleased in every way imaginable. That is, until someone slaps you back into reality and makes you realize what you have at home is better than what you have on the net. Just that being with your spouse so long the two of you forget what each other likes, and takes each other for granted. When in reality, your fantasy man (or woman) is right at home.

If you’re not married, it can be equally as daunting. You find yourself spending more and more and more time online trying to find The One. You may even find yourself saying and doing things you would have never ever imagined yourself to do. You’ve gone down a road you never anticipated to, and your justification is that this new person has broadened your horizons.

Do not kid yourself into thinking that could never happen to you. Yes it could. And it does, to the most unsuspecting people. Everyday moms, dads and business people can, and do get swallowed up into this web. This is about you. This can be you and you need to be ever mindful of that. No one is exempt from this trap. No one. Got it?

Before you decide to sit down and chat, to answer an IM, or to seek someone out, take into consideration what you have at home is better than some fantasy on the other end of a computer. Even if all you have at home is yourself. You will not be satisfied by spending your time IMing. You just won’t. You’ll always want more and the bar will keep moving – your goal will be farther away, but your morals will decline in the process of trying to achieve it.

Consider the consequences of your actions first. There will be consequences, guaranteed.

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